The Great White Shark

I just got done watching a show on PBS about the Monterey Bay Aquarium in California. Apparently no one has ever been able to keep a great white shark in captivity for more then 16 days without it dying or having to release it back into the ocean because it wouldn't eat. But, I guess these geniuses at the Monterey Bay Aquarium were able to successfully keep one in captivity for some 6 months before they released it back into the ocean. What's interesting though is why they released it.

For starters a great white is a predatory fish (the largest predatory fish, reaching lengths more then 20ft and weighing over 5,000lbs... the one they had was smaller... 5ft or so). And, being a predatory fish, it naturally eats other organisms for food. Now, I'm no fish expert, but, 1+1 being equal to 2, if I put a great white shark into a tank with other fishes... I'd expect, no, I'd count on the fact that that great white is going to kill the other fishes. Eatem, attackem, whatever.

But, the difference between me and fish experts is that they would put a great white into the tank almost like they weren't sure if it would eventually attack the other fish... And when it does start attacking the other fishes... use that as their excuse to release it back into the ocean. Almost like they forgot that great white sharks are apex predators (top of the food chain), and that they have been known to eat tuna, smaller sharks, among other things (all of which were in the tank they put the great white in). What the fuck kind of logic is that? Were they just sitting their with their fingers crossed hoping that the great white wouldn't act like a great white?

Well, unfortunately, regardless of what kind of logic it is... it's the same logic people use when it comes to soldiers and war. And as a sat watching this program on PBS, I found myself asking the television the same question I ask it every time I see and hear someone reporting on soldiers and the war...

"What the fuck did you think was going to happen?"

No, I'm no expert... but I know enough to know that these so called experts don't know shit... However, I'm glad the shark experts knew enough to let that great white shark be a great white shark... Just wondering when these soldier experts el do the same.

- BIGNEAL


The show was "Oceans in Glass: Behind the Scenes at the Monterey Bay Aquarium"
Click the link for more info or scheduling.

About 'Soldier Music'

'Soldier Music' is the inevitable outcome of soldiers on the battlefield. It is war defined. The mentality of the soldiers who fight it, and the atrociousness of it. All so that we may one day come to terms with how horrible war is, who soldiers are, what they will become, what they have trained to do, and the job they perform. Only after we have come to terms with these things should the decision be made to go to war... because until then, we can not truly support the soldiers we have asked to engage in it on our behalf. For soldiers are no less to war then doctors are to medicine.

Album Art
I think the album art says it all... why clutter it with words when a picture is supposed to be worth a thousand of'em. That and the music itself is bigger then me or anybody that had anything to do with its creation.

The Songs
1. Past to present
Compilation of all of the songs from 'Live From Iraq'. Basically bringing new listeners up to speed.

2. 3000 plus
A dedication to every soldier who has and will ever fall in service of their country... and to those who continue the fight.

3. Toldem'
After the release of 'Live from Iraq' I spoke with a lot of people that felt war was wrong. They said that they supported soldiers, just not the war... that they felt sorry for soldiers having to go to war, and showed their support by trying to bring them home. Here I was, a combat soldier trying to tell them how their opinion influences what happens on the battlefield... ultimately making our job that much more difficult. I told them, "you say you support soldiers, then let them do their fucking job... and stop thinking that how you feel has anything to do with what they MUST do to accomplish the mission".

4. Bring it on
This song represents who soldiers are, what we are prepared to do, and when driven, what we will become. It's a forewarning of the death and destruction that will ensue once sides have been chosen, lines drawn, crossed, and the first stone cast.

5. The Withdraw Method
Basically, War is fuckin'... and if your going to ask somebody to fuck for you, cause your not man enough to handle your own fuckin'... then don't tell me to stop until I'm done. Cause I don't fuck to the satisfaction of the voyeur, I fuck till I have fucked the shit out of whoever needed fuckin'. Either that, or don't ever ask me to fuck at all.

6. Check
Soldiers... true icons, superstars that the world should idolize. Instead the world looks to movie stars, professional athletes, etc. as their symbols of greatness, taking more and more for granted the sacrifice soldiers make. Yeah, he can shoot 3's, but I can shoot 3's too... And though the 3's I shoot may never win me a championship ring, the 3's he shoots will never ensure your freedom the way mine have and will continue to do.

7. Love Me
The only problem with an opinion is that it compares not to knowledge. And, in a world where I know who I am and what I must do... I ask that you never way your opinion against my knowledge. Simply love me for knowing what I know and continuing on.

8. War
The basis of all conflict... MORE. We all want it, we all spend our life in pursuit of it, and we all look past the needs and well being of others in order to satisfy our desire for it. War is just the extent to which we will go to obtain it.

9. Fuck with Me
What is war? Enough people dying for either side to concede their point. Thus, it should go without saying what is being asked of our soldiers. To ask any less of them, would be asking them to simply go die.

10. To Hell
It's about coming to terms with what you've done and who you are despite anyone elses opinion. Yes, we are responsible for the deaths of thousands of men, women, and children... but if thousands of lives must be destroyed to save millions... that's just the price that has to be paid. And if I'm going to Hell for that, Heaven don't exist.

11. PTSD
War opened my eyes. It allowed me to see how ugly the world truly is. Honestly, I think there are those people who can not handle truth in the doses that war administers. it doesn't necessarily make them weak people, because exposure to the truth is but the first step in a long process. and, during this step they are forced to weigh months of exposure to the truth against years and years of what they thought was the truth. everything they have learned, everything they have seen, heard, been told or even experienced for themselves (as it relates to life) suddenly crashes into oblivion. this experience Serves as a life altering shock to their system. I'm sure at one point in our life, we have all heard that the truth hurts, but they are finally coming to terms with how much. a hurt that when fought can last a lifetime.

After the initial realization, the battlefield becomes one of the mind, where now, every action contradicts a preexisting value or belief to the point that they themselves are not sure if what they are doing is right. that confusion coupled with public opinion tends them to lean towards a more "socially excepted" evaluation of things... because how could everything they've known up until now plus the opinion of so many people back home be wrong. Thus, they rationalize it can't be. However, there is a part of the brain that will not simply dismiss what it interprets as truth, antagonizing the situation further.

At this point, they should not be fighting their realization, rather, coming to terms with it. But, out of fear, they will not discuss this very personal struggle with anyone other then themselves. It becomes the skeleton that eats away at them from the closet. If they do open up, their concern is immediately addressed as them having a problem... again, tending them to lead towards drawing a more "socially acceptable" conclusion. Because, problems ARE most always associated with needing to be fixed. What they fail to realize is that they are experiencing life in one of its most natural forms, where when against death it refuses to die... an experience that most "educated professionals" (doctors, experts, etc) learn about only through second hand
information and know nothing of it for themselves. Which to be honest, makes them unqualified to diagnose, treat or council on the subject.

As they return home, they feel as though having removed themselves from the catalyst of their dilemma will ease their pain. but, that part of their brain will not stop reminding them of the truth they are trying so hard to dismiss... and now, the flashbacks begin (if they haven't already)and they begin reacting to their home environment as if they were still at war. To people back home, our reactions are odd, and out of place... but, what they fail to realize is that our reactions are not out of place. It's the people we view as being normal who's actions are out of place. Why? Because, normal people are complacent (among other things) and do not understand how fast things can spiral out of control. They have no knowledge outside of the world they feel perfectly safe in. But, truth be told, reality is far from safe, and the world of war is no different then the world we try escaping to. They are one in the same.

As for me, I often find myself reacting to everything that startles me, basically going into what I call a hasty defense, assessing the situation, delivering myself a FRAGO and continuing on. I don't care to be around nor trust people, because people will get you killed or make you kill them (how many murders each year throughout the world?). Some people would say I'm just scared, but, I fear no man... I fear only what he will make me do to him... and that you will never understand. Because, you have no knowledgeable concept of life, nor the extreme value I place on it.

12. Calm Down
Like I said, my eyes have been opened. I don't like what I see... and, that's what AI is all about.

3 of the songs
Fuck with me, War, and Love me I cannot claim as my own. Yeah, I wrote all of the lyrics, but the inspiration came from the original songs themselves. Here's how it happened.

While I was producing 'Soldier Music', my keyboard broke. Usually, I play all the keys on the keyboard and do drums on an mpc4000. But, with the keyboard in the shop, I couldn't get any music out of my head. Well, I've always loved the movie Man on Fire, and one night I fell asleep watching it. When it got to the end of the DVD it kept looping the menu music. That night I dreamt the song to the music as it played over and over again. When I woke up, I knew exactly what I was going to do. By the time I was done, I had ended up using the same music, but from a different part of the movie, added some drums and percussion... and War was done.

During the same keyboard in the shop period of my life... I was listening to Hotel California by the Eagles. The Cd belonged to one of my soldiers, he let me borrow it in Iraq, and it's been in my possession since. I never really listened to any of the other songs on it... but, since I couldn't make any music of my own... I figured I might as well listen to some other peoples. I don't know what the name of the song is, but when I heard it, it clicked. Love Me was born.

As for Fuck with Me, Ross (guitar player) introduced me to a friend of his name Colleen. He said she sang karaoke, and that we should get together and see what me and her could come up with. She came by the studio and the first song she sang was Hotel California... I was like, "damn, sounds good... what else you got?". Then, she sang Zombie by the Cranberry's. That was that.

When I got my keyboard back, I finished up the album... 3000 plus being the next song I completed. At first, I was never going to release those 3 songs... cause I didn't want to get sued.
But, then I realized how powerful and important those 3 songs were to the album... and, there was no longer any decision to make.

Credits
Bass Guitar by "Vito" - Toldem', Withdraw Method, Fuck with Me, PTSD
Guitar by "Ross Wyndele" - Withdraw Method, Fuck with Me, PTSD
Guitar by "Tweeter" - To Hell
Singing Vocals by "Colleen" - Fuck with Me, 3000 plus
Voice Over by "Karen Gilchrist" - War
3rd Verse on Bring It On written and performed by "Young Blade"


Fuck with me is a remake of The Cranberry's song Zombie
http://www.cranberries.com
http://www.amazon.com/The-Cranberries/e/B000APACJO

War is a rearrangement of a portion of the soundtrack from the movie Man on Fire (when Denzel Washington is in the taxi cab, the beginning of the movie).
http://www.foxstore.com/detail.php?item=1255
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328107/

Love Me is a rearrangement of an Eagle's song... I don't know the name of the song, because, all I ever had was the cd that someone left in my cd case.
http://www.eaglesband.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Eagles/e/B000APY93Y

The last 4 years.

Basically, I have spent the last 4 years figuring things out. There were a lot of things I needed to learn (both personally and musically), and some situations I needed to separate myself from. I'm sure there are plenty of things left to learn, but as far as me and music... my music is all I'm about. Well, that and creating the content to go with it. Because, what I have planned is a complete audio visual (multimedia) experience.

To be honest, all I ever wanted to do was create/ produce groundbreaking content. I never wanted to be a musical artist, and always imagined myself as the man behind the scenes. But, over the last 4 years, I've realized that it's not time for me to be behind the scenes. It's time for me to lead from the front.

I owe a tremendous debt to everyone who has supported my music since 2005. I also owe a few folks who have seen enough in me to provide financial support over the years. I would be nowhere without you. It's taken me until now to truly understand it, but since the release of LIVE FROM IRAQ, I always thought I had to "build the team". I use to think that was getting the people immediately around me to play a more active role in the success of 425. I know now that "building the team" had nothing to do with them at all, and everything to do with y'all. You guys are and have always been the team. I never had to ask you for or to do anything, yet, you always came through. It's kinda like that whole "footprints in the sand" story... there were times when I thought I was doing this all by myself, but actually, you all have been there the whole time, helping me every step of the way. So, thank you.

That being said... I've got work to do. About to drop the media release of 'Soldier Music' (March 1, 2009) and in the next few months I'll be releasing a digital only album 'Soldier Music RFI'. Also, next month, you will get your first glimpse of the album I've been talking about for the last 3 years... Yes, 'AI' is finally here. And, for the first song I'm going to release, the timing couldn't be more perfect.


- BIGNEAL
1+1=2